Apologize, Forgive and Smile!

Mannerism and etiquettes have always been the defining feature of us ‘humans’ and the reason that we think and can differ between right and wrong dictates us our values.I remember bouncing into many people while rushing towards my class in university and even though my immediate reaction used to be “Sorry!” but I seldom got a: “Its OK” or “no problem” in response. The problem in our society when you apologize is that people assume that you have done something wrong which makes you guilty and apologize in return. This thinking is most probably due to the fact that ‘apologizing’ is not a common practice and hence when some one does apologize he/she might get a deep glare in return rather than few nice words! This reaction is not just seen in minor incidents but also in bigger issues of life. If this habit of forgiving gains roots then this would not just merely be general mannerism but it would change our attitudes for good. I think that every apology should be followed by forgiveness. An apology should not always be treated as a confession! It could be a gesture as well! An effort from someone to make you happy and the positive side goes on.

The little issue with forgiving is that we do forgive but we don’t forget because we don’t want to forget. Some hard core freak in us keeps us reminding that such and such happening must ‘not’ be forgotten and that simply means that we had not forgiven in the first place! All we need to do is to tell this hard core freak that this can and should be forgotten. This does not in any way mean that you should forget the lesson you learn from someone’s behavior but this is about how to think and minimize grudges, as they say that “a grudge is the heaviest thing you carry around”!

All that is said about apology was only when some one does apologize! Interestingly most of us feel really bad about apologizing and we find it extremely difficult to admit that “yes, I was wrong” This is the outcome of extremely rational and mature behavior that one has the courage to admit that he was wrong. Such brave people are bound to improve as improvement begins from realization.

Many philosophers and thinkers have been thinking about happiness, how to be happy or satisfied in a complicated world today. To me happiness lies in simplicity, the simplicity in you, your thoughts and conduct. Sometimes we complicate the things and situations around us unnecessarily. We are inherent to go for a complicated approach where a simpler one would fit in better. This simplicity would cause us to thank, forgive then forget, apologize and consequently smile!